51008

Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, just tell them. Or get drunk and ""Like"" a whole bunch of their stuff on Facebook in a short period of time.....same shit."

"weekend plans: -solitude -cheese"

"*Creates Animals* God: They're magnificent. Angel: Some of ur best work. Man: Which ones go on pizza?"

"Einstein developed a theory about space... ...it was about time too."

"A guy told me this one in class today.... What do you call 2 White Russians and a Jager bomb? A Boston Marathon."

"Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight."

"Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence"

"Why couldn't the homosexual Irishman with an oral fixation order at the restaurant? He only spoke gaelic"

"Why does Santa Clause have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry"