231498

Joke of the Day

"*adds lol to the end of a message to sound less mean*"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One..... Or two..."

"Why was Ben Stein the only Jew that had prior knowledge of 9/11? Because he had clear eyes."

"What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone? Miso sorry..."

"*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag."

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."

"Did you hear about the bastard frog? It was a tad unexpected."

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"Has anyone said 'Julia Roberts makes me feel like I don't have enough teeth'? Because I'd like to say that."

"Whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine."