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Joke of the Day

"Of all the things Dave misses his Mother-in-laws virginity the most."

"Maybe we should put Obama on the $20 bill Then we would finally get the change he promised."

"I like my coffee like I like my Slaves... Free"

"SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL"

"What's a roosters favorite sport? Professional Cock Soccer."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a dead baby? I only have one under my bed"

"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? My damn foot's stuck in door! Open up!"

"Your mama is so ugly I will slap her face off of her face!"

"Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe."