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Joke of the Day

"So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it's okay to comment ""hahaha"" but the rest of the year it's rude??"

"My dad wants to open a funeral home.. Doss Family Mortuary : ""We'll take care of your stiffies for you"""

"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"

"I never give homeless people drugs because I know they're just going to trade them for food"

"An Elephant Never Forgets 9/11 An Elephant never forgets how to ride a bicycle"

"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"

"I have now lived in New York long enough that I can eat a meal while running at full speed."

"You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes"

"What's long and hard and makes women groan? An ironing board."

"Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear condoms when having sex with women. Every women wants to be impregnated by Chuck Norris."