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Joke of the Day

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ..."

"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"

"What goes 'clippidy clop bang bang clippidy clop'? An Amish drive-by."

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"Gonna do a few laps around the office talking into a pop tart like a cell phone just to remind my co-workers that safety is an illusion."

"Cops don't like it when you ask them ""Need some help?"" especially when you're wearing a Batman costume."

"Why did? Why did the house cross the road, One of the most difficult to solve cross the road jokes, I'll give the answer when you all give."

"Let's remove all the Warning Labels and thin out the herd."

"Beyonce: 'Who run the world?' Generally people who have at least a basic understanding of grammar."

"Jeb! should be called WTC 7 Never reaching the heights of his namesakes, and falling down without being hit by anything."