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Joke of the Day

"What goes 'clippidy clop bang bang clippidy clop'? An Amish drive-by."

"Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"""

"What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA? The former has a cunning array of stunts"

"As a professional standup comedian I never do self-derogatory jokes I keep my personal life away from my professional life."

"Roommate: (looking over my shoulder at my files) What's ""goat_in_heels.wav"" (I slam my laptop shut & throw it through a closed window)"

"Why did the two radio broadcasters get along so well? They were on the same wavelength."

"Why did the lawyer have sex with the devil? Because he'd already screwed everyone else!"

"why does everyone scream when they see you? because your ugly!"

"I don't know what to I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape I don't even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard."

"I have made nothing but horrible decisions ever since I had my wisdom teeth taken out."