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Joke of the Day
"How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? ""Please get out of the swimming pool."""
Next Joke
"[OC] So I went downstairs to check the time on a clock... But it was saying 4:04: Time Not Found!"
"Misery loves company. But not you. Even Misery has standards."
"Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here."
"If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE"
"If you want people to get mad at you, just say that your not going to care about you're mistakes."
"My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair."
"Crap....all this time I thought I was listening to the Angel on my shoulder. Turns out the Devil on the other shoulder is just a hell of a ventriloquist."
"You shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since you walked there."
"What happened when Canada got rid of the penny? Canadians became *penniless*"