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Joke of the Day

"Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you."

"What happens when you drink food colouring? You dye a little on the inside."

"What has a million and one legs but still can't walk? Jerry's kids."

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"Why was Muhammad a successful merchant? Because he was god's profit."

"Lite: the new way to spell ""Light,"" now with 20% fewer letters!"

"If someone's Twitter picture has 2 or more people in it, I write a letter to my senator."

"Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Nothing. They're both on Reddit EVERY FUCKING DAY."

"Hey white people, remember when we would all watch the Chapelle's Show then immediately change the channel when the rappers came out? HAHA"