50813

Joke of the Day

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll."

"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."

"If you're going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I'm going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it."

"What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pump kin."

"Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps."

"Big shoutout to my great grandmother She can't hear me otherwise"

"Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia? Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)"

"What's in common with jam and cream? I can jam and cream my dick up your ass."

"Some say sex is better than chocolate. Others say chocolate is better than sex. I say why not make love to chocolate."

"Never trust your kids. You know who their parents are."