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Joke of the Day

"Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps."

"What do you call a shifty midget in a police line up? A little suspect"

"Why are all jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women will not touch anything unless it is 10% off."

"What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete."

"How do you get a dog to lick itself clean like a cat? Cover it in peanut butter."

"Trigonometry Why can't Irish do trigonometry? They can't tan. Why can't Christians do trigonometry? They can't sin. Why can't the rest of us trigonometry? Just cos."

"I don't have a racist bone in my body. But my cartilage does not care for Mexicans."

"[religion]What's the difference between Jezus and a picture of Jezus? You only need one nail to hang the picture"

"Whenever I'm feeling too self-confident I'll find something in my hand I've just spent 15 minutes looking for."

"Don't worry, everyone else is as confused as you, I swear."