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Joke of the Day

"Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself."

"A man in a museum accidentaly breaks a vase. Manager: That vase was over a thousand years old! Man: Phew - I thought it was new."

"Religion is like farts... Everyone likes the smell of their own, but not someone doing it in their face. Hope it hasn't been said before :)"

"If a dog sniffs your ass, you're probably a bitch."

"How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? ""A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"" !"

"There are two types of people in this world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.... .."

"""Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha"" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] ""Actually it's lasagna"""

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND-EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"If scientists weren't so busy advancing yogurt technology, we'd have flying cars by now."

"There is a guy who lives in my town that holds the record for the most concussions by a human. He actually lives right near me, only a stone's throw away."