50790

Joke of the Day

"Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself."

"[to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? ""ugh I can't wait to go home"" know who else wanted to go home"

"I guess since you can't adopt Russian children anymore, you will just have to wait until they are old enough to be a mail order bride."

"My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity."

"What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? A Klondike"

"Did you guys hear the one about the mascara and the lipstick? The relationship was alright, but the make-up sex was amazing."

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts."

"I just melted an ice cube by staring at it. Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though."

"Being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world. Unless you have a job where the reward is, for example, getting paid."