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Joke of the Day

"My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity."

"What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon ."

"What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say? ""Where my dogs at?"""

"A friend of mine told me she worked as a prostitue for a while... I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by the fuzz. She hadn't, but she said she'd once been swung round by the tits."

"Watching the end credits of a movie so you can take note of the producer & director and never ever watch anything else that they make "

"The last 60+ Miss Universe pageant winners have been from earth I don't know man, seems fixed."

"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."

"30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed."

"If a user posts Nazi-related offensive content and a German moderator sees it, what happens to the user? He gets banschlussed."

"Want to hear the shortest joke in the world? Midget shortage."