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Joke of the Day
"Do you know why it's called the Holy Land? Because it's full of bullet holes."
Next Joke
"Girls are like math problems. If they are under 18, its best you do them in your head"
"how did hitler tie his shoesies? with little nazis"
"Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce."
"My in-laws are visiting... This is their homicide note."
"I listened to Winter by Vivaldi the other day... Ugh, that piece is soooo *last season*"
"I owe my life to Nickelback I got in a horrible car crash and was in 6 month coma. Then the nurse switched the song to Nickelback. I woke up and muted it."
"my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot"
"I'm dating a half asian girl... ...her mother is korean, her father is korean and her legs were ripped off in a car accident"
"How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis? You tell me."