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Joke of the Day

"I'm dating a half asian girl... ...her mother is korean, her father is korean and her legs were ripped off in a car accident"

"Do you ever feel like a tampon? In a good place, but at the wrong time."

"When you say, ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans,"" all I hear is, ""There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]"

"? Hey there Delilah, what's it like when u go grazing I know u said you're not a cow but girl this milk sure tastes amazing Did u just moo ?"

"Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift? Michael J. Fox; he would just shake it off."

"Why did all the guys like the bus driver? She was busty."

"America has never been a homophobic nation.. He grew up with 4 fathers."

"Who was appointed as a proof reader of Hitler's speeches? A Grammar Nazi"

"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a hotel... I said, 'but you can never leave!' 'You can check out anytime you like'."