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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a smoking hooker? A hookar."
Next Joke
"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""
"Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side"
"Walt Disney was an anti-Semite.... The way Disneyland sponges the money makes him seem more like a Jew."
"I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything."
"LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."
"Some (Hopefully OC) poem I thought of while lounging around. There once was a man named Larry Whose stomach detested dairy He had ice cream Harmless it seemed But next afternoon he was buried"
"Do they really need to add 'Alive' to 'Sexiest Man' or am I grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?"
"In case I ever doubted my status as an American, being able to buy girl scout cookies on my way out of the gym was a heady reminder."
"Boss:Why is your voice gone? Are you ok? Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's ""Dangerous Woman""* I'm ok...allergies are bad."