113816

Joke of the Day

"Some (Hopefully OC) poem I thought of while lounging around. There once was a man named Larry Whose stomach detested dairy He had ice cream Harmless it seemed But next afternoon he was buried"

"A feminist claims that she is independent enough to pay for her own bills And then she complains when her boyfriend doesn't pay for dinner"

"Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because he isn't real."

"Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em' use Torrents. Hence DVD Rip"

"Why are there no American flags at the DNC? Because the delegates were standing on them."

"You say I'm handsome but you also said your employer cancelled your optical coverage & you haven't had new glasses in 4 years, but thanks."

"Q: How do you catch a rabbit? A: Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises."

"When people say things like ""You can't change the past"" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind."

"How do Italian Jews like their bread? With-a matzah holes in it."

"I stepped on an almond. When I looked down to see what it was I thought 'Awe damn. I busted a nut.'"