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Joke of the Day

"I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted"

"NYC's New Year's sucked. They really dropped the ball this year."

"Don't say ""tits."" It's crass and disrespectful. Instead, say ""lady tits."""

"I'm tried starting a club for hipsters I got quite a few to sign up until they heard it was getting popular"

"If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window."

"A Jewish man gets hit by a car... in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital the paramedic asks ""are you comfortable?"" the Jewish man shrugs. ""I make a living."""

"I just got off the phone with my mother. She called 12 years ago."

"What does an impatient cow say? Mooove the fuck out my way"

"The chicks better be hot on this Mayan calendar."

"Just a reminder not to wear white after Labor Day and not to be black around cops."