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Joke of the Day

"I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted"

"If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet what would happen if you tied a pice of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?"

"If I were to have an affair I'd make sure to have a signed prehumptial agreement."

"People say that I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"What do you call a Phillipino contortions? A manilla folder"

"Why did the Shitaki left the party? It was too crowded and there wasnt mushroom. It's a pitty he left... He is a funghi!"

"What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I need space."

"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher? He had to work it out with a pencil."

"What is your mom's favorite animal? Macaque."

"What doesn't kill you, forces me to reload."