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Joke of the Day
"Whats Putins favourite food? Ukrainian take away."
Next Joke
"Survivor 1: ""Help! I can't swim! I'm drowning!"" Survivor 2: ""I have a buoy, friend."""
"How does a hipster measure out his drugs? Using instagrams."
"Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit? The Khajiit."
"""How's the wine?"" ""House red?"" ""Yes."" *sips, swills, spits* ""Wow it's got too much body."" ""Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."""
"Getting girls to have sex with me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle. Easy when I have a knife."
"NICK CANNON: hello and welcome to america's got talent HAWK: [hiding his talons behind his back] i misunderstood the title of this show"
"HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER"
"Why do terrorists recruit married men as suicide bombers? They're easier to convince."
"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo bees"