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Joke of the Day

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it."

"How do you know someone is from California? They tell you."

"Please stop making 9/11 jokes ... they're very plane."

"A man walked inside an interior decorators convention and everyone was laughing... He asked what's so funny. ""It's an inside joke""."

"Why does a fat man when squeezed compliment the ladies? Because the pressure makes him flatter."

"*maintains eye contact with coworker while licking a yogurt lid for seventeen minutes*"

"A woman walks into a bar. ""OUCH!"""

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread to the ceiling"

"Tried to hit on a girl whom I thought was married. A miss"

"I don't understand why New Years Eve is such a big deal. I get drunk and tell myself lies all the time. Who needs a special day for that?"