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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a mechanic so I don't know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people."

Next Joke
 
"*handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel."
"Where do white supremacists go shopping? KKK-Mart."
"How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?! With an electorate blanket."
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot."
"this nation needs a monument dedicated to its teens. how about a giant middle finger carved out of a mountainside"
"Crush: ""Hey!"" Me: *Retard mode activated*"
"""There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions."" Children"
"When I'm drinking don't worry about taking my car keys. Just hide my phone."
"Three rifles walk into a bar... ... and one of them was assault."