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Joke of the Day
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot."
Next Joke
"I need to give my cat an abortion But every time I throw her down the stairs she just lands on her feet."
"2 guys with Alzheimer's. ""I'm off to go get some ice cream, do you want some?"" ""Yeah sure"" Shortly later, he returns. ""Here, I brought you your fish"" ""Fish!.............. where's my fucking chips."""
"I got fired today, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently nursing homes have strict rules about what you can do with patients."
"I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple pie. I'm planning to desert her."
"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."
"They constantly call trump a white supremacist, but how can he be that when he's not even white himself? He is orange."
"It's 2012 and we still don't serve all food in a bread bowl."
"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"
"What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice? Awarewolf"