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Joke of the Day
"I told a girl a joke. She said, ""Don't quit your day job."" I said, ""Thanks, I'm a comedian."""
Next Joke
"How does Hitler tie his shoes? (say outloud) With little knotsies."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you."
"How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!"
"What did the chauffeur say to the newlyweds as they passed the last rest stop? Speak now, or forever hold your piss."
"I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Our motto is: ""Hang in there, we can beat it."""
"I was cumming into a sock... when the guy wearing it was like WTF?!"
"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."
"Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive!"
"ME: did it hurt GIRL AT BAR: did wat hurt ME: when ur hopes of having a nice uninterupted night out got crushed bc i started talking to u"