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Joke of the Day

"If I swollow A weener whole, will it come out the same way? I feel like it would be really good if that happened."

"Why did the geologist quit his job? His boss always took him for granite."

"I would put a webcam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know."

"I cant stop eating ice cream... It's a rocky road to addiction."

"Theft solution: Tits. Nobody is thinking about larceny when they're looking at tits. So ladies, help stop crime... show us your tits."

"Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise."

"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"

"What do you call a fishermans newborn? Fresh bait"

"I could never be friends with a dildo. They're stuck-up cunts."