50540

Joke of the Day

"How do you know a chinese thief has broken into your house? All of your rice is gone, your computer is fixed, and the mother fucker is still trying to back out of the driveway."

"-Knock knock... -""Who's there?"" - 9/11 -""9/11 who?"" -You said you'd never forget!"

"A wizard walked into a gay bar and disappeared with a poof"

"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."

"My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt."

"*friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*"

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."

"My boss asked me to fix the plug on his lamp... I simply refused."

"An atheist, a vegan and a femenist walked into a bar. And everyone knew it instantly."