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Joke of the Day

"I phoned my boss. I said, ""I'm calling in sick tomorrow."" ""But, how do you know you're going to be ill?"" he asked. I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop."

"Don't be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you're driving first!"

"Why do black people like the NBA? It's the only sport where you can shoot, steal and run!"

"What's the difference between kinky and perverted ? Kinky you use a feather; perverted you use the whole chicken !"

"Call me crazy, but I kinda like the way people look with their lips cut off"

"What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster."

"My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants."

"What do you call the underground slave trade? The black market."

"So a woman was facing a judge in court... She was on trial for beating her husband with his guitar collection. The judge then says ""First offender?"" She says ""No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"""

"Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged."