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Joke of the Day

"""Where do escalators come from?"" ""Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."""

"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."

"It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7... but at least they went out with a bang."

"Congratulations on passing your test! You are HIV-positive"

"Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ? It was for 'tick or tweet' !"

"I give this cheese an ""A"" I grated it myself"

"*gazes into the abyss* *awkwardly looks away and pretends I wasn't looking when the abyss gazes back*"

"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."

"The best halloween costume of the year goes too... Bruce Jenner!"

"I keep my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. Easy! It's right next to the sage."