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Joke of the Day

"My roommates get angry when I steal their kitchen utensils But frankly, thats a whisk I'm willing to take."

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"Police: where were you between 5 and 6? Me: Kindergarten"

"If you had a donkey and it bit off my rooster's legs, what do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"Why should Steve Irwin have put on sunscreen? To protect himself from the harmful rays."

"How many Americans does it take to change a bulb? None, Mexicans do it for them."

"Some military humour: why do I call the ol' downstairs resident APFSDS? Because it's a long-rod kinetic penetrator!"

"Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ? On squid row !"

"I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison."

"What do you call a cop in court for murder? Unlikely"