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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me if I was ever going to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe."

"Some people ask me why I never hold a grudge. I've always hated those people."

"My cock-eyed professor had a really bad day today. His pupils got way out of line. It made him so angry that he couldn't see straight."

"To me, ""drink responsibly"" means don't spill it."

"I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did."

"[Batman's parents return after 40 years] Surprise!! Wait, wtf are you wearing?"

"In park people come across man playing chess with dog They are of surprise and say ""What clever dog!"" But man say: ""No, no, he isn't so clever. I am lead by three game to one!"""

"Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head."

"Damn girl are you a pair of sexy knickers??? You're cute on the outside but you're only covering a c*nt"

"Did you hear about the guy with the right side of his body removed? What you see is what's left"