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Joke of the Day

"My cock-eyed professor had a really bad day today. His pupils got way out of line. It made him so angry that he couldn't see straight."

"Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor."

"What did Rouge say just before murdering Crimison? Hue hue hue"

"What disease do terrible parkers have? parkin'sins"

"""Hey look, a cemetery"" Dad: ""People are just dyin' to get there."""

"One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds. Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like. The meteorologist replied, ""Hail, Hitler!"""

"Did you hear about the blonde that tried to enter a weightlifting competition? The judges said ""Sorry, we've got enough dumbbells"""

"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""

"No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber."

"What type of lettuce do they serve on the titanic? Iceberg :D"