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Joke of the Day

"Son, when I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle."

Next Joke
 
"Tonight I'm going to be naughty and tie my man to the bed. Then I'll make him watch a Golden Girls marathon while I eat the left over pizza."
"""I can't find my gun"" I exclaimed as I rifled through my drawers."
"Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say ""Ta-Da"" when you do."
"What do songwriters do after they die? They decompose"
"If you hear the words ""oh yeah, suck it"" coming from my bedroom, it's probably just me vacuuming."
"I prefer masturbating with coconut oil as opposed to lotion It just cums naturally."
"When people say ""life is short"". What the fuck? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?"
"Dirty One Liner Girl: ""Hey, what's up?"" Boy: ""If I tell you, will you sit on it?"""
"I think my favorite MLK Day tradition is giving pans of ex-lax laced brownies to all the local racist organizations."