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Joke of the Day

"People with Bluetooth headsets always look like the least important people you could possibly call."

"My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me."

"Just trimming my nose hair and drinking a soy latte. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta."

"This is why we're screwed. Quotes in the word of your god."

"I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome. Any takers? Edit: This is a dumb joke..."

"How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? There, they're, their..."

"I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat."

"How did Hitler like his juice? Concentrated"

"You know what's fucking shit? A scat fetish"

"I was standing out side the other day and a bat flew at my head it was a Louisville Slugger and I don't remember much after that."