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Joke of the Day

"When you say '' friends with benefits'' I assume you own a medical Marijuana dispensary and or a liquor store"

"I'm ""friends with beneficiaries"" years old."

"Never treat a woman like an object. It hates that."

"Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus."

"Have you see the film about the guy who can't stop crywanking? It was a tearjerker."

"A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world! ... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after sex."

"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."

"Why does a middle eastern person not give a blowjob to an American? Because he hates Bush. ahahahah Get it George Bush ...... Ill see myself out....."

"My mother asked me today if I was more attracted to breasts or butts.. I told her to shut up and put her robe back on."

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions."