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Joke of the Day

"Why does a middle eastern person not give a blowjob to an American? Because he hates Bush. ahahahah Get it George Bush ...... Ill see myself out....."

"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."

"Rihanna's restraining order against Chris Brown says he cannot ""harass or annoy"" her. I want one of those against everyone ever."

"A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar The bartender asks what they're having. The witch replies ""Narnia business."""

"If April showers bring May flowers, what does May bring? The pilgrims."

"The doctor said to the patient We had to remove a part of your anus Patient- will I be any different? Doctor-Just less of an asshole Edit 1- Changed rectum to anus, credit u/RigorMortis76"

"Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads? She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs."

"when the news anchor says ""if you know anything about the crime please contact police"" dont call the police and re-tell the news story"

"If I was a serial killer my name would be ""The suspense"" So my victims would be like ""oh no, the suspense is killing me"" And then we would both laugh right before I kill them."

"Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one."