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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the football player who went to jail? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver."

"If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself."

"Guys.You can't make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me"

"Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes."

"Video games don't cause violence, they PREVENT it. Whenever I see a turtle now, I chuck it off the nearest cliff where it can't hurt anyone."

"Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk"

"""Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?"" ""No."" ""Why not, sir?"" ""Because, it would make my rabbi sad."""

"What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy"

"Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is illegal."