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Joke of the Day
"If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself."
Next Joke
"Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long."
"What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike."
"What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny"
"What happens to a drunk vampire? They get a fangover."
"What did the prostitute say to the psychic? I don't do aural. You're welcome and I'll show myself out."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a flying fuck."
"I heard the funniest joke... But the Fine Bros copyrighted it."
"ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here."
"Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over."