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Joke of the Day

"Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What's your thoughts on renewable energy? 2: I'm a big fan."

"mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice"

"Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo."

"A study shows women are more interested in how a penis looks than in how big it is ... As long as it looks big."

"What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank? A polterheist."

"Guy at the gym had ""True Gentleman"" tattooed on his arm. I was about to make fun of him, but he held the door for me as I left. Great guy."

"What does a blind person say when you give them sandpaper? ""Well that's really tiny writing!"""

"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you drop a load in it."

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"

"If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback. I'll let myself out."