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Joke of the Day

"mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice"

"my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying ""jeff is dead"" so they know what the flowers are for"

"What's the similarity between video games and roulette? Very fun until it goes Russian."

"Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6? Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was"

"May I hold your baby? May I throw her across the room into that pile of empty boxes? Okay, I'll just hold her then."

"Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full."

"What is Bear Grylls' favourite web browser? Internet *explorer*!"

"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"

"What did the chinese pirate say? Awwlllll!"

"Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels."