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Joke of the Day

"OMG another Chilean just got voted out of the mine, can't wait to see who wins"

"Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age."

"I think it's so brave that Rosie O' Donnell is openly fat"

"""United Airlines? More like DIVIDED Airlines"" he said as thunderous applause erupted in the terminal, wild cheers & all the old folks crying"

"There are more and more suicide bombers around nowadays isn't there... then again... also less and less."

"Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes."

"if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones."

"What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium? Pandemonium breaks out."

"They should name American Pharoah's first offspring ""Regression to the Mean"" Because, you know, statistics."

"Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website."