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Joke of the Day

"""United Airlines? More like DIVIDED Airlines"" he said as thunderous applause erupted in the terminal, wild cheers & all the old folks crying"

"What kind of dog do IT people prefer? A Dobie"

"""I'm in your city"". me: ok. enjoy it."

"Technically, all vehicles are time machines."

"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."

"What Do You Call an Ethiopian with A Piece of Lettuce on His Head? A Quarter Pounder."

"Iv'e never been so proud of myself.. Just completed a jigsaw puzzle in 8 days.. It said 3-4 years on the box!!"

"Why is there no gang violence on the space station? Because it is a zero G environment."

"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you. It's always going to be you. It's NEVER me."

"What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans? Eventually the baby stops crying"