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Joke of the Day

"They should name American Pharoah's first offspring ""Regression to the Mean"" Because, you know, statistics."

"It takes me about 25 minutes to pack a suitcase, but I still always block out 4 hours for it."

"Floaters What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night ? - Your grandma's jaws"

"*rises out of ball pit* thanks for agreeing to meet me here"

"Did you know that if you drive past the first drive thru window your food is free?"

"Non-native English speakers are the number one victim... ...of getting punched in the mouse."

"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."

"What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog? Anne Frank's"

"*nudges widow at funeral* are you thinking Arby's"

"What did the baby corn say to the momma corn? Where's pop corn?"