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Joke of the Day

"I walked up to a guy in the gym. I said, ""How do you use this piece of equipment?"" ""It's pretty simple,"" he replied, ""Just push the button and it dries your hands..."""

"You will go to hell for reading this. How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice? After you're done wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure,"" is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"I wish you were ketchup.... ...So you could squirt on my Weiner!"

"How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline."

"How many Economists does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on the supply and demand curve"

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!"

"""I ruined my health by drinking to everyone Else's."""

"i don't always watch soft core porn, but when i do i watch XX. stay horny my friends."

"Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase... ...so I could unzip your genes."