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Joke of the Day
"What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!"
Next Joke
"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."
"16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment."
"What's Michael J. Fox's favorite drink? a milkshake"
"Arguing with autocorrect is the new yelling at the television."
"My brother won a TV quiz show by bribing the guy who sets the questions. He's a criminal mastermind."
"Cows What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom."
"How can you tell when someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"I once farted in an Apple store... It's not my fault they don't have windows."
"If you crush a cockroach, you're a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria."