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Joke of the Day

"Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?"

"I was going to castrate myself But I didn't have the balls."

"My 8yo knows exactly how many hours are left until Christmas but can't remember to flush the toilet."

"You know, you're not that bad looking -- for a fat-ass."

"As a kleptomaniac, I demand my rights... And that guy's rights... And his pen..."

"Does Bill Cosby like puddin? Yeah, puddin his dick where it doesn't belong."

"Do you like pudding? Bill Cosby liked pudding his dick where it didn't belong."

"A man is hospitalized after a serious accident Following his surgery, he says, ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor says, ""I know. I amputated your arms."""

"Whoever said ""talk is cheap"" never dialed 1-900-WET-GIRLS at $3.99 per minute. I think Dirty Darla loves me though."

"Did you hear about the Chelsea team without a player? No Mata!!"