205219

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It's a nice way to let them know my love and also that we're out of napkins."

"Her: Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Me: No but I follow a few on Twitter."

"How many kids do you think Wolverine has? Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out."

"Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content."

"I work in a popular hotel... I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations."

"Being a suicide bolder sounds like a blast"

"I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground."

"I just realized why my dogs are afraid of thunder. They don't have any balls."

"Doctor, doctor, what did you say I had? Capricorn? - No, C a n c e r."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist."