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Joke of the Day

"PARENTS: if you have an ugly child, please don't post 8 million pictures of them online. Thank you."

"What do you call a controversy surrounding toothpaste. Colgate."

"Chicken walks in to a bar... It's full of Roosters. Chicken says, ""I crossed the road for this?"""

"Who Died? The husband comes home drunk. His wife asks him: -Where have you been?! -**At the cemetery...** - And who died? -**You won't believe it: they are all died**"

"Today I made an immigration officer laugh He was borderline hysterical."

"My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down"

"What's the first thing the pope did after resigning? Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book."

"Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea."

"Marriage tips 1. Separate bank accounts 2. Separate bedrooms 3. Separate homes 4. Separate dates w/other ppl 5. 6. Don't get married"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know but it's more than 5 because my basement is still dark..."