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Joke of the Day

"Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes I'll save it for your supper."

"Which country has the nicest children? Germany. German children are kinder."

"Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom."

"What's the saddest sea-creature? abalonely"

"I went to the Reddit tennis tournament. All the servers were busy."

"What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? Patty O'Furniture."

"I think the most romantic thing a woman can do for a man on Valentine's Day is to have a vagina."

"[I open my lunchbox to find flask of whisky] But that means.... [Cut to my 4 y/o opening her lunchbox to find a flask of whisky]"

"It's not illegal to tell a ghost story when a cop shines a flashlight in your face"

"My Car spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of people And My Korean friend screams ""Hit the Blakes"" & I'm like ""I can't be that selective"""