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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend walked in on me putting on a condom. She said, ""What are you doing?"" I said, ""Wrapping your Christmas present!"""

"Son, do we have any dopted? Son: What is a dopted? Dad: You are! Son: Ha ha funny one dad.(Sarcastically) Dad: I'm not your dad!"

"What martial art did Hitler have a black belt in? Gazillion Jew-Jitsu"

"Asked my friend who works at the tampon store if he could get me a discount He said he'd pull some strings."

"What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow."

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK... It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way So I moved the mirror"

"Am I the only one who gets nervous when a person @'s you with a link? Like they found that pic of you at 18 being spanked in a tutu."

"I hate boxing But you gotta love May weather!"