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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK... It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"*Ghost snatches phone from me* ""Who you gonna call now?"""

"I once dated a girl who told me she had had sex with Mr. Peanut. She was fucking nuts."

"What did the farmer say to Pat Sajak? I'd like to buy an owl"

"Trust but verify."

"Healthcare Costs in America"

"Do you know who are the fastest readers in the world? 9-11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds."

"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."

"Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets."

"BROKEN CAGE Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: ""Cheap, cheap!"""