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Joke of the Day

"What does Mexican binary code consist of? Zeros and Juans."

"*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag."

"My 'home to pants off' speed ratio is unparalleled."

"How did Hitler like his orange juice? Reposted. No? OK. Concentrated."

"Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain. Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too. And maybe the me: dude, that's my mom's cassero- C: Spain."

"The problem is I'm really tired... But I hear there's a nap for that."

"What do you call a lawncare company owned by a promiscuous lesbian? Hoe Mow"

"What is the difference between me and being artistic? The second letter."

"Why do porn directors prefer real Christmas trees? Because they don't need fluffing."

"I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face."