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Joke of the Day
"What do baby swans dance to ? Cygnet-ure-tunes !"
Next Joke
"My views are my own, although they're heavily based on some stuff Jon Stewart said on TV last night, and the general vibe of the internet."
"A man is talking to his mate about his dog... Man: My dog loves Snow Patrol songs! His mate: Really? Man: Yeah, he loves Chasing Cars."
"Have you ever eaten at that Ethiopian restraunt? There portions are like..nothing."
"What did the elephant say to the man? Cute, but how do you pick up peanuts with it?"
"Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid"
"I had a dream That the most beautiful plate of salmon with lemon zest and crusted parmesan was in front and before I could dig in I woke and saw it was my wife's leg spread open."
"Why are Fathers like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!"
"Today TO DO list: 1) vacuum huge spider in living room 2) panic 3)throw vacuum cleaner outside 4)buy new spiderless vacuum"
"My wife said she wanted more variety in our sex life. Now I tell a few jokes, fuck her then sing a song."